


The view of the cheated

by Lyfeofkiwi



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Asra is an ass, F/F, M/M, Minor Portia Devorak/Nadia, Multi, Nonbinary Asra (The Arcana), Other, Past Asra/Julian Devorak, mentions of abuse, they/them pronouns for Asra
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-14 05:29:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28540359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyfeofkiwi/pseuds/Lyfeofkiwi
Summary: Julian came to the palace for a nice diner with his sister and her girlfriend, but as he walks in he sees his ex partner, sitting there and acting calm as they see each other. What'll happen next?
Relationships: Asra/Julian Devorak, Portia Devorak/Nadia
Kudos: 4





	The view of the cheated

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, welcome to me trying to write angst, I will probably do a different book of Asra's point of view if people want it!

Julian walks through the halls of the empty palace halls, a place he called his second home for a while, always full of smiles and laughter even with the plague, trying to remember the happiness he used to feel here, yet he can't. It felt like all sadness, going from hearing of fights from the count and countess, which went from their issues of the relationship, to the fights of the kingdom, to about the red plague.

He also remembered all of the late nights he stayed up trying to work on the cure for the plague as his partner, in this issue and in love, just went out and had some women and men from brothels pleasure themself, making the doctor's work go slower from the emotional pain of about the cheating person he still to this day loved. He watches the memories play though his head, going through the first fight that they had, a fight about Asra not helping Julian out when he came to the plague. The male can still feel the even bigger eye bags than he has now when thinking of it. He was always so tired and so close to a cure, just for Asra to come back and tell him it was wrong. And he wouldn't deal with it anymore, locking himself inside of the library, only coming out when it came to getting food or water. He rarely slept in the bed that Julian and Asra shared with each other while in the palace, it felt broken, dirty, hurtful, and he felt even more betrayed. 

Julian shakes off the thoughts, he was hear to have dinner and stay at the palace with Pasha and her girlfriend, Nadia, not deal with the memories he dug down so deep that it felt like amnesia, digging up memories he didn't ever want to remember didn't sound like a sun way to spend his Sunday. 

Julian walked with his head held high, always fake it until he made it, and today, he was faking it so much. He was acting much more like he was confident, like not even four years ago he was going to be put to death by the countess, his sister's girlfriend, Nadia. 

Julian was wearing his usual clothes, a cloak and his over shirt that was buttoned up, wearing some leather gloves and an under shirt, having some pants on that came with his outfit when he bought it a while ago, he couldn't remember when. Yet underneath that overcoat lays necklace that his ex bought him years ago, that he still wore in hope, that one day they'd meet and maybe, just maybe, become something again. 

The male takes a breath, walking inside of the room that Pasha told him to meet the two at. He looks for a second, seeing the two girls that he expected, both of the two wearing expensive silks and furs that were both different lengths and styles, them holding each other's hands, smiling softly, but yet there was another person sitting at the opposite side of the table as the only other open chair. He could recognize that mop of a hair on that golden brown skin color and their dimples when the other smiled when he told a joke that wasn't even funny, but that was when they were dating, but now the two are not even slightly friendly, not even acquaintances, just people that they know each other from years of pain. 

"Ilyushka, finally you got here. I thought we'd have to put out a search party again for you," Pasha jokes towards her brother,"Hey Ilyushka, can we talk outside of the room quickly?"

Julian nods, walking over and offering his elbow to his sister, taking her outside the room. His fake confidence and pride breaking down, keeping his voice down in a whisper yell towards his sister,"Why the hell are they here Pasha?"

"I dont know, Nadia invited them. I think she is trying to make you two get along again. Apparently they talk a lot about you," Pasha says, whispering back to the other, looking at Julian with sorrow in her eyes. 

Pasha, or Portia as most called her, knew everything that happened with the albino-haired person. From the cheating, to the late night fights, to the abuse that happened from him sometimes. Asra might be much smaller of the male, but they still hurt the other from it. Julian was really just a puppy that got kicked when young, making the dog have a slight fear of people. But yet that fear ever seemed to show, the fake confidence and pride kept it in. 

"Can we not go inside? Your cottage isnt that much farther from here," Julian whispers back towards Pasha. 

"They probably don't even recognize you anymore, your hair being longer and you no longer wear that damn eyepatch"

"Excuse you, I really liked that eye patch. And I looked good with it on," Julian says, ruffling up Pasha's hair.

"Okay okay, dont touch my hair you ass," she laughs quietly,"but come on, we need to go in, no matter how much we both aren't happy with him. And Ilyushka, breathe in and out, I can tell you've been holding your breath"

Julian didn't even notice he was doing do, but it is very easy when for a long time, you had to be careful and patient. The male takes in a deep breath, holding it for four seconds, and then letting it go out of his lungs,"I'm ready to go in," he said as he put back on the fake confidence and pride that he had dropped. 

Pasha nods, leading the way inside for her brother, sensing his uneasiness as she opened the door to step inside, but he kept walking,"Apologizes for taking so long, Pasha forgot something at my house and I would rather her keep it"

Nadia looked suspicious towards the doctor, he did lie about killing her late husband, so she didn't put it past the other to lie about this too, but Portia happily sits down next to her girlfriend, who smiles at her and kisses her knuckles. 

Julian sits down in the chair, having a surge of memories hit him at once of the times when he and Asra used to come in here late at night and just talk, their conversation could range about the cure to the disease, towards Faust, to Asra's old explorations that they used to go into before the plague hit the town, to Julian's adventures on the boats. 

"So, Nadi, can I ask why you had us come here?" Asra asks, making Julian want to roll his eyes like a small child at the sound of their voice, he didn't want to be here at all now knowing that they were here, and not even bothering to apologize for anything that they did to him.

"Well, it was my idea for you two to try and get along again, it has been years since you two have even been social with each other," Nadia explains as the servants bring out the first course and drinks.

Nadia getting herself a white wine, Pasha getting herself some beer, Asra got the same thing they'd always get, lapsang souchong, while Julian realized he'll need to be as drunk as his body physically could to deal with this, but still didnt want to seem rude, so he decided to just get a black coffee, which he got a couple shots of some liquors inside. 

"Do pardon my language countess, but this is the dumbest fucking idea that you could've ever done," Julian says, looking Nadia straight in her eyes, seeing the shock in her eyes as he moves to look Arsa in the eyes, who looked... hurt? But Julian couldn't care, he could deal with only a small amount of pain that he dealt with for that time, which to him, felt like decades of pain. 

"Julian, I wasn't the only one who wanted this, Asra sent me a letter a month ago asking for me to hold this," Nadia says, squeezing Pasha's hand as even Pasha was hurt by this lie, being told the fact that this was meant to just be a nice dinner with her brother as coming back to town, not this. 

"I'd like to say I was never told about this," Pasha says, moving her hand away from her girlfriend's hand, feeling insulted.

Asra looked like they had words stuck at the back of their throat, making Nadia motion to them,"Julian will you please listen to them for a second?"

"No, I am not going to listen to them after everything, thank you for having me. But I need to leave," Julian stands up, leaving the room as his eyes start to water up, even after hearing Asra call out for him, but not hearing their steps, instead steps that sound more like Pasha's follow him out of the room, losing her quickly as he keeps twisting and turning corners. 

Julian looks at a broken window, thinking for a second if he could fit through it. Which he was able to from his idea, so he does, stepping outside and into the roof, deciding to stay up here while he calms down before walking home. 

Julian sits down, stretching out his legs as he tears up even more, regretting even deciding to come. His anxiety about the idea of Asra fills him up and over. The nights he'd wait in their room for them to show up after they finally promised him that they'd be there for them to cuddle and finally, finally, have some alone time. But Asra never showed up, Julian stayed up the whole night, seeing Asra come in as the sun was rising up. Julian never had the energy to fight those things when the plague was a thing, but as soon as it broke, Julian was on the run. 

Julian felt the warn tears of hurt, sadness, and anger stain his cheeks, his eye that showed his time when he had the plague burned much more from the pain, making him cry more. He cursed under his breath for being so weak that he couldn't even deal with a little heartache, but it was always more than just a little. It was the man that Julian shared his first kiss with, the person he imagined would be by his side no matter what, but a simple plague made their eyes go towards others, at one point he was almost certain that they were staring at his sister, making him feel even worse.

Durning the beginning of the cheating when Julian finally found out, he tried many things to make the other like him more. Going from eating more food, to not eating at all, wearing clothes that Asra used to complement him in, to clothes that Asra told him they wanted to see on him, but nothing worked. So he gave up, spending time crying quietly in the library instead. 

Julian tries to wipe away his tears as quickly as he can before they stain his face, not wanting people to worry as they see someone who they believe could rival Lucio in confidence, crying and broken down to the level of when Mazelinka found him trying to make a life for Pasha, he put his own social life on the back pan for years as he tried to set up Pasha with a good life, studying when he wasn't working for some coins or raising her. And raising a child when you yourself are one? That broke him down so much, he needed to leave just to try and understand who he was, not just that awkward child who was working at the tavern and as a cleaner. 

Julian sucks in a breath as he sense the movement of someone unto the roof, making him panic and think about where he could even hide, he was too tall for most of the spots that he and Pasha would play hide and seek while Nadia was out and she wanted to hang out with someone. 

Julian thinks for a second, climbing up a wall and hiding behind a wall, just hoping that they'd leave and not find him, but out of any hope that the male had, he was dead wrong as he heard the steps that he could easily tell aren't Nadia's or any guard, Nadia wouldn't come out to the roof of the castle no matter what unless Pasha was holding onto her arm, and with this situation, they were probably not having a lovy dovy moment, and guards wouldn't go on the roof, so that left either Pasha or... Asra, and he hoped it was Pasha, but the steps weren't like hers, being much lighter than hers, and more suspicious of the height and looking around. 

"Ilya, please just let me explain why I asked Nadia to do this for me," Arsa says as they walk around the area where Julian was, which amazed him as they didnt spot him even with the moonlight hitting straight at him. 

Julian wanted so much to scream, to yell and shout everything that he felt, that they didnt deserve this meeting, but he knew that if Asra wanted to talk, it was probably serious. 

He steps out of the area he was standing at, deciding to just run away from this like they did all those years ago. Maybe then Asra could understand how he felt anytime Asra ran from their relationship that was always one sided. Now he wasn't the one chasing, he was the one running, and damn did it feel nice. He ran to the other side of the roof, seeing an open window and going through, hearing Asra shout Ilya through the air on the roof loudly.

His heart was pumping from all of this, looking around the room he landed in, the room that the two used to share, still how Julian had decorated it with the other all those years ago. He guessed at no one wanted to change it back after he ran away, maybe hoping it would make him come back so he could be hanged?

He looks around, finding the mask that he used to wear, emptying out the old spices, herbs, and flowers out, and putting it back on. He smiles at the familiar thing as he feels a hand on his shoulder, obviously not either Nadia or Pasha, they would've knocked when coming in, so it left one person.

"Please Ilya, can we talk about what happened all those years ago?" Asra's voice sounds sad to Julian's ears, making him want to drop this pain and comfort them, but he couldn't, he needed them to understand how hurt they were for so long, but hid it for everyone else. 

"Why should we? You cheated and hurt me, while neglecting your work. There is nothing more. We are nothing now because of your actions," Julian says, fixing the mask into his face so that the other didn't see his pain.

"Ilya it was a mistake when I was you-," Asra starts, but Julian cut him off.

"-We weren't young, we were adults and you could've kept your dick inside of your pants just because there was a plague!"

Julian felt the anger inside of himself bubble up, everything he kept hidden and keeping inside of himself finally letting out,"I worked so long just for you to go out and have sex with anyone, during a plague too! And you know what, I'm done holding onto this," Julian reaches to the back of his neck, ripping off the twine that tied behind his neck, a piece of twine that kept a charm that Asra made to keep him save and not hurt, yet when he took it off, he felt so much lighter. 

He saw the look Asra gave him, the look was a mix of surprise and hurt. He could understand the surprise look of the fact that he kept it and still wore it for all those years. But he couldn't understand the look of hurt, why would they even be hurt? 

"You can keep this, I never want to see you or this ever again," Julian says, feeling that the confidence was higher with his old mask cover up his face. 

"Ilya, I regret what I did- but please let me explain why I did it. I'm sorry," Asra reaches out to hold his hand, making Julian question if this was even a smart idea, to hide how he felt,"I know I shouldn't have done what I did, but I felt like I had to."

"You had to cheat on me for years while I tried to find a cure, while I had the plague and still worked? You had to leave me in the bed you cheated on others with? Asra I tried to keep our relationship going, but your commitment issues is why we stopped dating. It's you who made it happen. We planned our lives together, saying that we'd adopt a child once it was all over, being married in our own eyes," Julian rambles on about the pain that the other made him go through daily, just because they couldn't deal with one partner even after they agreed they be a monogamous couple.

As Julian began to start again, he felt his mask being lifted past his nose and a pair of soft lips hit against his own, his neck being pulled down to the other's level. Julian went quickly through his options, but his body didnt listen to his mind, making him kiss back the other in missing the feeling of the other's lips against his. "I know I messed up, but let me explain, please. Then we never need to see each other, but the cards told me we both need this."

"Fine, but keep your lips to yourself. I dont ever want to kiss someone who cheated without questioning their morals."


End file.
